爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语诗歌
笑话是近年来语言学研究比较盛行的话题,其研究方法主要侧重于语用学研究,但幽默的产生机制和复杂性决定了幽默研究需要多种语言学理论的交叉与合作。下面是本站小编带来的爆笑的经典英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
Job interview with FBI
3 men were at the FBI Building for a jobinterview.
有3个人正去参加美国联邦调查局总部的工作面试。
The first man walked into the office. The interviewingFBI agent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us yourall. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot herwith this gun.” The man took the gun, hesitated, and said “sorry, I can’t doit.”
第一个人走进了联邦调查局大楼。联邦调查局的面试官员：“要做一个联邦调查员，你应该做到忠诚，专心，并把你的一切都奉献出来。你的妻子就在隔壁期间，我想让你去用这把枪打死她。”那个男子拿起枪，开始犹豫，说道：“对不起，我不能够这样做。”
The next interviewee came into the office. Theagent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us your all. Yourwife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with thisgun.” The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walk out. “Sorry, I can’tdo it.” He said.
第二个人走进了联邦调查局大楼。联邦调查局的面试官员：“要做一个联邦调查员，你应该做到忠诚，专心，并把你的一切都奉献出来。你的妻子就在隔壁期间，我想让你去用这把枪打死她。”那个男子拿起枪，走进房间，接着又退了出来。他说：“抱歉，我不能够这样做。”
The last man came into the office. Theinterviewer said “to be in the FBI you must be in loyal, devoted, and give usyour all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoother with this gun.” The man took the gun and went into the room. The agentheard 6 shots, silence, and then a lot of screaming.
第二个人走进了联邦调查局大楼。联邦调查局的面试官员：“要做一个联邦调查员，你应该做到忠诚，专心，并把你的一切都奉献出来。你的妻子就在隔壁期间，我想让你去用这把枪打死她。”他拿起了枪走进了房间。代理听到了6声枪响，一阵安静，接着听到了一阵尖叫。
The man came out of the room and said “someoneloaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing.”
那个人走出房间说道：“有人装着空子弹，所以我用窗帘杆子把她打死了!”
爆笑的经典英语小笑话篇二Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
爆笑的经典英语小笑话篇三Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I be demonstrating?
Cassandra: Brotherly love?
老师：Cassandra，如果我看见有人在殴打一头驴，我制止了他，我显示出了什么美德?
Cassabdra：兄弟般的关爱?
爆笑的经典英语小笑话篇四One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她："放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。"
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片
爆笑的经典英语小笑话篇五A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
长寿秘诀
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
“我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，”那女士说。“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。”
“哦，真神奇，”女士说。“你高寿?”
“二十六。”
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