经典搞笑的英语笑话精选
笑话性存在于以语音、书写或句法形式表示的英语言语笑话中。下面是本站小编带来的搞笑的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
放屁的问题Problem with gas
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but itdoesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,I've farted(放屁) at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I wasfarting because they don't smell and are silent."
有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven daysand come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back.
医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although stillsilent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses(鼻窦) ,let's start working on your hearing."
一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”
搞笑的英语笑话阅读Perfect Match绝 配
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩而深感骄傲，以至于她竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色，但是谁也没有能令那位怪癖的妇女满意。
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那妇女对他的成果非常满意，油漆匠于是一举成名。
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"多年以后，他退休了，生意也交给儿子。“爸，”儿子说，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么绝的?”
"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."“儿子，”父亲回答说，“我漆了花瓶。”
关于搞笑的英语笑话VideoJug gives you some handy hints on what to do stop that irritating person talking to youon a long-haul flight. Make them stop talking with these clever tips, and enjoy your peacefulflight.
长途飞行中，你的邻座喋喋不休不厌其烦地跟你讲话?VideoJug为你提供一些简便的方法，让他闭嘴!使用以下简单的小建议让邻座不再说个不停，享受平静的旅途!
Step 1: Sleep
1.睡觉
Pretend to go to sleep. To make sure they definitely get the message, put on your MP3 playerand your blow-up pillow and your eye mask and your ear plugs. Block Everything Out.
假装睡觉。确保他们确信无疑地了解这一点，戴上MP3，充气枕头，眼罩和耳塞。将外界的一切隔离。
Step 2: The flight attendant
2.空姐
Use the flight attendant to your advantage. Call her over to your seat and tell her to 'get thisfreak away from me'. When returning your food tray, advise her to wash her hands aftertouching it so she doesn't contract the highly contagious virus you picked up during yourrecent visit to the Amazon.
利用空姐。把空姐叫到座位旁边，告诉她“把这个怪人带走”。回收食物托盘的时候，建议她接触托盘之后洗手，这样她就不会感染最近游览亚马逊河时接触的很容易传染的细菌。
While you're at it, ask if you can get an upgrade on account of your health problems and thefact you may only have months to live.
向空姐咨询，由于健康问题，自己可否换乘更高级的舱位，因为你可能只有几个月的寿命了。
Step 3: Props
3.后盾
Even when stuck in your seat, you have several props at your disposal:
即使你被限制在座位上不能自由行走，你也有几个备用方案选择：
Go very quiet, start rummaging around for the sick bag and make loud retching noises into it.
非常安静地翻箱倒柜地寻找塑料袋，假装大声地向袋子里呕吐。
When you're given your food, make sure you throw it all over the place. Start answering backbut only when your mouth is full so it sprays all over them.
当你拿到自己的食物之后，大口咀嚼。如果对方喋喋不休，你可以在满嘴都是食物的时候回应他。这样食物残渣可能会喷他一脸!
Pull out the life jacket from under your seat and explain that you're just getting prepared asevery plane you've ever been on has crashed.
把救生衣从座位底下拉出来，向他解释，你要做好准备，因为你以往乘坐的每一架飞机都会出事!
