最短的最简单的英语笑话
冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。小编精心收集了最短的最简单的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
很高兴认识你
During World War Two, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
第二次世界大战期间，英国的许多青年妇女在军中服役。琼·菲利普斯就是其中的一个。她在一个大军营里工作，自然结识了许多男人，既有军官，又有士兵。
One evening she met Captain Humphrey at a dance. He said to her, "I' m going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
一天晚上，她在舞会上认识了汉弗莱兹上尉。他对她说:“明天我将出国，如果我们能相互通信，我将非常高兴。”琼同意了。他们书信来往，数月不断。
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
后来他的来信中断了，但她收到另一位军官的来信，信中告诉她汉弗莱兹受了伤，现住在英国某陆军医院里。
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit captain Humphrey.”
琼找到那家医院，对护士长说:“我来探望汉弗莱兹上尉。”
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
“这里只允许亲属探望病人。”护士长说。
“Oh, that' s all right，”answered Joan." I'm his sister.”
“哦，那好吧，”琼回答说:“我是他妹妹。”
"I’m very pleased to meet you ,”the matron said，"I' m his mother!”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说:“我是他的母亲。”
最短的最简单的英语笑话篇二Hi, dad? Where's mom?
爸，我妈呢?
She's in the chat room talking to someone.
你妈正和一长舌妇在聊天八卦呢!
Really? Mom's on the internet?
啥?老妈这么潮，都学会上网了啊?
What internet? They're in the kitchen. You know your mom. Any room she's in is a chat room.
上网?捞鱼么?你妈在厨房呢，你知道你妈有个本事就是她在哪儿呆着，哪儿就自动变成聊天室了。
最短的最简单的英语笑话篇三律师咨询费
A lawyer' s dog, running about unleashed，beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?" The lawyer answers，"Absolutely.”
一位律师的狗被放出来后，直接来到一了肉店偷了一大块烤肉。之后，肉店老板来到那位律师那里问:“如果一个没有被拴住的狗从我的肉店里偷了一大块烤肉的话，我有没有权利要那只狗的主人赔我的肉钱?”那个律师回答说:“当然可以。”
“Then you owe me $8. 50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”
“这么说你欠我八点五美元。今天是你的狗被放出来后到我的店里偷的烤肉。”
The lawyer, without a word，writes the butcher a check for $8. 50.
那位律师一句话没说，给那个肉店老板开了一张八点五美元的支票。
Several periods of time later the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.
过了一阵子。肉店老板打开他的邮箱看到一封信，是那位律师寄来的，上面写着:请付一二十美元律师咨询费。
最短的最简单的英语笑话篇四麻烦的孩子
"Daddy 、may I go out?" Asked Basil.
巴兹尔问他的父亲:“爸爸，我能出去玩吗，”
"No, it’s raining,”answered daddy."You would catch cold."
“不行，外面现在下雨呢，你出去会着凉的‘’他的父亲答道。
"But daddy，I want to go out in the rain.”
“可是，爸爸，我想出去淋雨。”
"Here is a hook I’ve bought you，” replied the worried father hastily. "Now sit still and read it.” basil took the book obediently. But after the first sentence he asked again:
着急的父亲赶忙说:“这是我给你买的一本书，你现在乖乖的坐下来看书吧。”
"Daddy，it says here: a man is known by the company he keeps. Is that true? Because if a good man keeps company with a bad man，is the good man bad because he keeps company with the bad man，or is the had man good because he keeps company with the good man，or do they each change，and if the. . .”
巴兹尔顺从地拿着书，可刚刚看了一句话就又开口问了起来:“爸爸，书里面说:看一个人所结交的朋友可以看出这个人的为人。这是真的吗?那么，如果一个好人和一个坏人接触，这个好人会不会也变成了坏人呢;或者因为坏人结交了好人从而也变成好人呢;或者他们两个人都变了，好人变成了坏人，坏人反而变成了好人。还有，如果……”
"Basil,” said his father, "you may go out in the rain.”
“巴兹尔，”父亲说，“你现在可以出去淋雨了。”
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