回忆童年! 十大蠢萌的神奇宝贝(下)

pass

5.朝北鼻

Nosepass looks like someone glued big, fAlse nose onto a lump of granite and then tried to hit it with a car. It's so angular and dumb looking, if you squint hard enough you could realistically mistake it for a potato cos-playing as Johnny Depp.

朝北鼻像是个粘着巨型假鼻子的花岗岩人，分分钟要以鼻撞车的样子。它看上去又笨又蠢，如果你使劲斜眼看它，你可能会真的误以为那是一个土豆在Cos约翰尼·德普。

According to its official Pokedex entries, Nosespass's, well, nose functions almost identically to a compass and can often be found pointing due north unless someone has farted in that general direction fairly recently. Far from being something someone pulled out of their ass, this trait is based on something called the ethmoid bone. Found between the skull and nasal cavity, in birds the ethmoid bone is said to be linked to their ability to sense the earth's magnetic field. Although humans also possess an ethmoid bone, we can't use it to sense magnetic fields or even to ruin credit cards. That explains why Nosepass has such a huge, oversized nose to make up for the fact if it had normal, human proportions it wouldn't be able to sense magnetic fields or stick iron filings to its face.

官方的神奇宝贝条目上写着，朝北鼻鼻子的功能和指南针差不多，如果没有人在附近放屁的话鼻子还可以辨别北方。朝北鼻的这一技能灵感来源才不是从人屁股里排出的什么东西！而是基于一种叫做筛骨的东西。筛骨在颅骨和鼻腔之间，据说鸟类的筛骨与它们所具有的地球磁场感知能力相关。尽管人类也有筛骨，但我们无法用它来感知磁场或甚至是干扰信用卡的使用。这就说明了为什么朝北鼻的鼻子那么巨大了：如果朝北鼻长着和人类比例一样的普通鼻子，它就不能感知磁场或是吸引铁块了。

ki

4.钥圈儿

Klefki is a bunch of keys. There's probably a much funnier way we could word that, but we didn't know how we could make fun of a Pokemon that already looks exactly like something we have nestled in our pockets two inches to the left of our nuts. We're actually going to stop talking about this thing just because we're that intrigued about what in the hell a "set of keys" that is also somehow a fairy could be based on that would make it so cool.

钥圈儿其实就是串钥匙。或许我们能找个更好玩的说法描述它，但是这太为难人了！明明看起来就像是装在口袋里面的、离小鸡鸡只有两英寸远的玩意儿，怎么可能配得出有趣的解说！实际上这个话题说到这儿就够了，我们实在是太好奇究竟这外形就是"一串钥匙"的精灵的灵感源于何物，因为这想法真是太酷了。

A pagan tradition of blaming faeries for your problems. More specifically and in more words, Klefki is partially based on an old superstition that faeries liked to entertain themselves by stealing keys and other similarly inconsequential objects. As a result, followers of the Pagan faith sometimes blamed missing keys and other such shenanigans on faeries, because they're whimsical like that. And that explains why Klefki, which is a fairy type Pokemon, is noted as being a big fan of "collecting" keys, which it presumably steals from people who're stupid enough to try locking their flimsy wooden doors in a world where 20 foot long snakes made of diamond hard coal exist.

你们造，异教徒中有个习气，那就是将问题怪罪于精灵。具体来说吧，就是酷炫钥圈儿设计有一份部分来源于一个古代迷信。传说精灵们闲来无事喜欢偷些钥匙之类的小东西玩，所以如果异教徒们丢了钥匙，或是被整蛊了等等，就会说"这是精灵干的"——因为精灵就是这样顽皮！这下你能理解钥圈儿为什么是精灵属性，为什么成了钥匙收集癖，而且大多数钥匙还是偷来的了吧~对了，那些被偷了钥匙的愚蠢人类，也不想想这个世界还有20英尺长的大岩蛇这种存在呢，居然以为锁住了那道薄薄的木门就能有什么用？

woodo

3.胡说树

In the games, Sudowoodo is a Pokemon that blocks access to a critical in-game path by disguising itself as a tree until the 10-year-old protagonist sprays it with a squirt bottle. If that sentence doesn't already make you feel a little uncomfortable, we should also point out that Sudowoodo looks like someone drew a caricature of a child molester's face onto a Slim Jim.

在游戏里，胡说树会将自己伪装成一棵树，挡住关键路径不让人通过。但是，10岁的主角只是拿起洒水器浇了点水它就让路了！如果这样说了你还觉得这没什么不好的，那我就再形象一点——胡说树长得就像Slim Jim肉棒上长了一张恋童癖的猥琐脸！

Now, it's never really explained in the games or anime why this Pokemon has such an intense need to disguise itself as a tree, especially when it's explicitly mentioned that it hates one of the things trees need to live: water. However, it's stated that Sudowoodo is a rock-type Pokemon. This has led fans to surmise that Sudowoodo is based on petrified wood, or wood that has undergone the process of fossilisation and become rock. This is supported by Sudowoodo's name, which could be viewed as being a phonetic spelling of the word "pseudo," which means "false," and the word wood with an extra "O" slapped on the end for style. Meaning Sudowoodo's name literally translates to "false wood­," or something that looks like wood, but isn't. Then again, maybe we were onto something with the Slim Jim idea.

无论在游戏里还是动漫里，都没有解释说这个神奇宝贝为什么一定要伪装成一棵树。而且那么明显，这"树"它不像其他树，它怕水啊！当然，那是因为胡说树不是草属性的，而是岩属性的。对于胡说树这样的奇葩设定，粉丝们不禁脑洞大开，认为胡说树的原型就是木化石，或是正在渐渐变成化石的木头。这可以从胡说树的名字中得到验证："sudo"就像"pseudo"的音译，在"wood"后缀上保持和谐的单字母"o"，整个名字就可以拼读成"假的树"啦，或者是看着似是而非的东西。当然，说不定Slim Jim肉棒也对胡说树的形象设计有一份贡献呢~

eo

2.凯路迪欧

There's no real way to get around this, so we're just going to say it: other than the fact it isn't being weirdly sexualized, Keldeo looks like a fan-drawn My Little Pony character. We'd make a joke or something to go here, but just by mentioning the words "My Little Pony" in a derogatory manner we've already ensured the best jokes are going to appear in our comments anyway when people come to yell at us.

想要避而不谈这一事实？呵呵，你想多了！所以呢，真正的勇士敢于直面这样的事实：凯路迪欧不仅神奇地没有性别之分，它看上去还像是由《小马宝莉》的粉丝根据动画中的小马形象创作出来的。本来我们是可以讲个段子或婉转点引出这事儿，但是！我们简单粗暴地提到"小马宝莉"这一事实，是因为相信高手在民间啊，当人人都跑来围观时，最佳段子一定会出现在评论里！

Rather than being based on a children's cartoon that is inexplicably popular with adult men who shouldn't be allowed near kids, Keldeo is actually based on a combination of a Chinese Unicorn and the fourth, and youngest, member of the Three Musketeers, d'Artagnan. If you're wondering how a magic horse is linked to a novel by Alexandre Dumas, Keldeo is the fourth and final member of the so-called "Swords of Justice." If that's not enough proof for you, Keldeo's tail is also somewhat reminiscent of d'Artagnan's signature and exceedingly pimp feathered cap.

凯路迪欧才不是以莫名其妙深受一帮本该被禁止与儿童接触的成年男性欢迎的卡通动画为基础呢，其形象结合了中国独角兽和《三个火枪手》中最年轻的第四个成员达达尼昂的特征。如果你在想到底是多神奇的一匹马才能和大仲马的小说扯上关系的话，那么我们要告诉你，凯路迪欧也是游戏中所谓的三位"圣剑士"中第四名同时也是最后一名被接纳进去的成员。如果这还不足以说服你的话，那么凯路迪欧的尾巴是不是让你觉得似曾相识呢？那就是达达尼昂那充满个性的皮条客羽毛帽啊。

parce

1.土龙弟弟

Dunsparce looks like a cheap, Chinese knockoff of a rejected Disney design. It's such an offensively off-putting and ugly design that if you put its image onto a t-shirt, the words "TapOut" automatically appear next to them. It would almost be kind of cute in an "accidentally hit with a shovel" sort of way if it wasn't also almost five feet long. Luckily, according to the Pokedex, Dunsparce is also super rare, because apparently in the Pokemon universe, a five foot, bright yellow snake with wings can escape detection quite easily. Our guess is that these things are so butt ugly, nobody ever bothers looking for them.

土龙弟弟看上去就像是廉价的中国山寨版迪士尼设计，而且还是不合格的！它的设计真是又倒胃口又丑，简直让人无法直视，真是丑到只要你把土龙弟弟的图片印在T恤衫上，"在下认输"的字样都会自动浮现在图像旁边了！它已经，丑到深处自然萌，要是它没有近5英尺的身长的话，或许它也算是"不小心手滑才打了一铲子"的那种萌了吧。幸运的是，根据神奇宝贝图鉴所示，土龙弟弟十分稀有，因为很明显在神奇宝贝世界中，这条五英尺长还长着翅膀的嫩黄色"蠢"蛇很容易掩人耳目。然而我们是这样想的：土龙弟弟实在是丑到极致了，以至于根本没人愿意找它们。

Apparently Dunsparce's rarity isn't just a quirk of the game, but a subtle nod to its inspiration, the Tsuchinoko. That's a species of snake native to Japan that can supposedly leap several feet into the air, speak in fluent English, and escape detection by curling into a hoop and rolling away at high-speed. Like Dunsparce, the Tsuchinoko is exceptionally rare and a bit of a lard-ass since it's noted as being fatter in the middle that it is at either end. As you've probably guessed, the Tsuchinoko is a cryptid and there's no real proof it exists or ever has existed. Nevertheless, rumors and legends of its existence continue to persist across Japan to this day, which presumably led to its inclusion in the Pokemon series as Dunsparse. Why they chose to honor this piece of peculiar, traditional Japanese folklore with a Pokemon that looks like someone asked a slug with self-esteem issues to paint a self-portrait is anyone's guess.

很明显，土龙弟弟的稀有并不仅仅只是游戏的噱头，而是对其原型槌子蛇的一种微妙的肯定。槌子蛇是一种日本土生土长的蛇，传闻它可以跳跃到数英尺高的空中，还说得一口流利英文，一遇到危险就绻成一团，飞速滚走。和土龙弟弟一样，槌子蛇极其稀有，还有个"肥屁股"，因为传闻中槌子蛇身体中间比它的两端更胖一点。机智如你，可能已经猜到了，槌子蛇是一种神秘生物，目前为止并没有任何真凭实据能够证实它的存在。尽管如此，有关槌子蛇的流言和传说直到今天还在日本广为流传，这大概也是神奇宝贝系列土龙弟弟诞生的原因吧。至于为什么他们要选择通过这样一只奇形怪状、看起来就像是一条自尊过剩的鼻涕虫的自画像的神奇宝贝来向这段既特殊又传统的日本民间故事致敬，你猜？

审校：敖有没 来源：前十网