朋友失业了，你该怎么做？（上）

If someone close to you has been fired or laid off, it’s imperative not to treat the job loss like a taboo subject.

如果你的亲密朋友最近被解雇了或裁员了，我们要谨记的是不要把失业这件事当作禁忌话题。

Opening the dialogue and normalizing a very unnatural-feeling situation is the best thing that a friend can do for someone who is going through a similar situation.

开展对话，把这种不自然的感觉正常化，是一个朋友为某个正在经历相似情况的朋友能做的最好的事情。

To that end, we asked experts what to say ― and what not to say ― to a friend who’s dealing with the loss of a job. 

为了达到这个目的，我们询问了许多专家的建议，询问他们在一位正在面临失业的朋友面前应该说和不应该说的话。

What to say:

应该说的话：

I’m so sorry to hear the news. I know how much time you devoted there. How are you feeling?

对于你的近况我感到很遗憾。我知道你为那份工作投入了很多时间，你现在的感觉怎么样？

“When people are going through hardship, they want to hear words that communicate understanding and empathy. Try to avoid giving your friend advice, immediately trying to cheer them up, or having them look at the ‘bright side.’ Understand that losing a job is just that ― a loss.” ― Tara Griffith, therapist and the founder of Wellspace SF

“当人们在经历艰难处境的时候，他们希望听到的是传达理解与同情的话。尽量减少为朋友提出建议，直接鼓励他们，或者让他们看到‘好的一面’。”理解到失业仅仅——只是一次失去。——Tara Griffith,心理治疗师兼Wellspace SF的创办人

I understand how scared (or angry, frustrated or sad) you’re feeling. That has to be difficult.

我理解你有多么担忧（或愤怒，沮丧或伤心）。这的确是很难过的。

“Validation is always a good place to start because it allows the other person to feel heard and understood first and foremost, which is usually what we need from our friends more than anything else.” ― Amanda Stemen, therapist in Los Angeles

“承认他人的情绪总能很好的开始，因为能让别人感受到自己的话被他人听进去和理解了，这也是我们从朋友身上比其他东西更需要的。”——Amanda Stemen，拉斯维加斯的心理治疗师

Do you want

to talk about it?

你想不想聊聊这个话题？

“Depending on the person and timing, they may or may not want to dredge up the memory. Give them the option to vent and be a supportive, good listener without judgment.” ― Lynn Taylor, workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job “根据个人特点和时间，他们有可能希望或不希望回忆起那段记忆。把发泄的权利交给他们，给予他们支持，好好聆听，不加评判。”——Lynn Taylor，职场专家以及《驯服难搞的办公室暴君：如何应付孩子气的老板行为，事业蓬勃发展》的作者

Do you want to get together?

你想要出来聚聚吗？

“During a period of unemployment, people can become increasingly isolated and socially withdrawn, particularly if a big part of their social circle once involved co-workers. Therefore, encourage your friend to get out of the house, stay active, and remain connected with others. Suggest going on a hike together, grabbing a cheap coffee, or treating them to lunch. Participating in activities and spending time with loved ones can also help reinforce that there is more to their identity than just their job.” ― Tara Griffith

“在失业的一段时期，人们会变得极其孤立，拒绝社交，尤其是大多数他们的社交圈子曾经包含了同事。因此，你要鼓励你的朋友走出屋子，保持积极的心态，与他人保持联系。你可以建议与他一起去爬山，喝杯咖啡，或请他们吃一顿午餐。参与社交活动，与喜欢的人一起共度时光，也能帮助加强他们的意识，让他们知道他们的身份比工作更重要。”——Tara Griffith

点此阅读：朋友失业了，你该怎么做？（下）